What is the definition of beautiful? What does it mean to you?
It’s a word that people use often; what a beautiful sunset, a beautiful wedding dress, a beautiful flower, a beautiful person. When it’s used to describe something about you, it makes you feel on top of the world, it’s an adjective that evokes an emotion that’s indescribable. But recently I’ve had to really think about this word because there is nothing about me that feels ‘beautiful’ right now. That’s nothing to do with anything anyone has said to me, it’s just how I feel about myself because of how I have grown up with society’s definition of beauty. This is sad because our appearance shouldn’t be something that defines beauty, it should be the hidden beauty, the actual person, the soul, that makes the definition.
I’ve been reading about and following a lot of very inspirational people on social media and seeing the confidence they exude in front of the camera without any hair. They are redefining the meaning of beauty by making bald normal and acceptable. They aren’t ashamed, they aren’t hiding it away, that is who they are and they are proud of that. Being ill, loosing your hair, it makes you acutely aware of how the public perceives you and how society portrays beauty. Hair is something that we don’t think twice about unless we are having a bad hair day – it’s true, if your hair is good, then typically you feel good. But when that element of beauty and feminity is taken away, you have to find other things to feel good about or learn to feel good having bald as your new hair style!
As humans we pass judgements on people on the TV, people we drive past on the street, in shopping centres – that doesn’t look good on her, that really doesn’t suit her, what a horrible colour….it’s something we all do and infact, I did this morning. Whilst in the car with dad we drove past a woman with bright orange hair and I said, “why on earth would you want your hair that colour?” Well Hannah, she has hair, she is allowed to dye it whatever colour she blimmin’ well wants, it’s her choice and her choice alone and if it makes her feel happy and good about herself, nobody else matters! Hair does not define beauty, only we get to define ourselves.
The more I thought about it and researched, the more I realised a few things. Men who shave their heads are, on the whole, seen as more masculine, sexy – you don’t assume they’re ill and feel sorry for them but for women, it is assumed you’re ill, probably cancer because why on earth would you want to shave your head otherwise?! Or it is widely perceived that she is now deemed less attractive or sexy to those around her because hair is quite strongly linked to how attractive a woman is – do you prefer blonde or brunette – bald is never an option. One example sprang to mind; the episode of Friends when Bonnie shaves her head. Rachel actively encourages her to shave her hair off because she knows Ross will hate it, not find it attractive and will therefore definitely take Rachel back. They laugh at her, mock her, no one wants to touch it and when they do – “you can feel the skull”. Yes, it’s an episode of Friends and a funny one at that but I must admit, now I am a self confessed Baldie myself, it’s things like that that put worries into my mind about how people perceive me.
This picture was brought to my attention this week and you could say was the catalyst to me writing this blog post. Adam Levine, the absolutely gorgeous lead singer of Maroon 5. He hasn’t got alopecia, or cancer, he decided that he wanted to shave his hair – so what?! When I Googled it I was horrified at the search results and some of the headlines:
- “Adam Levine shaves head, causes internet heartbreak.”
- “Adam Levine shaves head, internet freaks out.”
- “Adam Levine shaves his head and sends the internet reeling with sorrow.”
Hair is NOT everything. Yes, at the moment for me, it feels like everything because I don’t have any and I also don’t have any control over it but I am trying to train my brain into accepting that hair or no hair, I’m still me and my hair doesn’t have anything to do with that. I can’t let it define me. But seeing things like this on the internet doesn’t help. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions but sometimes, as Thumper would say:
Hairless Hannah
xx
*******************************************************************
As promised, here are the sunshine points of my week!
- Feeling happy that I’ve managed to keep alive the lucky bamboo plant a friend gave me last week – believe me, I am not green fingered at all, this is a real achievement!
- My light box was delivered and although the men in the house disagree, I think it is amazing!
- Having a visit from one of my best friends and her gorgeous baby and seeing what a wonderful mother she is.
- Receiving several bits of post (I love post!) which made me smile.
- Getting a message from an ex colleague who has organised with her hairdresser to have a cake morning and raise money for Alopecia UK – just amazing, thank you so much x
- Starting to feel the benefits from reflexology and reiki.
- Shaving my own head. I managed a few minutes in front of the mirror but have now realised I don’t need one, I can shave my head quite well by feeling..my talent is endless people!
Beautiful indeed!!! Xx another good un sweetheart! Xxxxxxxz
Sent from my iPhone
>
LikeLike
Hun, let me tell you something: You are beautiful no matter what.
Society definition of beauty has been screwed up since day 1, so don’t listen to them. My self-esteem is in the toilet too cause of society, so let’s define beauty together.
Also,
I would like to a featured post on you in my blog, you are so inspirational its amazing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, your words mean so much. I’ve just retweeted a blog I wrote a year ago called Different Is Beautiful!
I’d love to wrk with you lovely!
LikeLike
To be honest, I absolutely hated that scene in Friends. It was awful how they treated that girl after shaving her head. And Rachel’s attitude was just disgusting to me. I’m pretty sure that society can make someone’s life horrible by stupid comments and mocking…
LikeLiked by 1 person
They really can, believe me I’ve experienced the looks, stares, silly comments and down right rude comments.
It hurts but you have to brush it off because it’s them that are the insecure ones at the end of the day and it’s them I feel sorry for, they don’t have compassion or empathy and one day they’ll realise the pain that words can cause x
LikeLike
Different really is beautiful. Stepping out of our comfort zone is too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Totally!
LikeLike
I agree hair is not everything and well done for him shaving his head. You should feel beautiful because you are beautiful xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I so agree! Being different IS beautiful. My son has autism and he’s been called different, but I always tell him it makes him more interesting. Who wants to be normal anyway?
LikeLike
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! You look lovely hairless or not!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s very kind of you to say x
LikeLike
The beauty of everything is in the diversity and the difference 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is an amazing way for you to stand out against what has always been a very twisted definition of beauty. It isn’t about your shape, your size, your color, your makeup expertise. It isn’t about hair or foot calluses or jewels or clothes.
Beauty is something much deeper than all of those things – or at least, it is to me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I fully agree with you, it’s just a matter of trying to make the rest of society see things that way too.
LikeLike
You know what is beautiful? Honesty. Inner strength. Integrity. Kindness. Your skin or shape has very little to do with your beauty. And hey: You’re beautiful.
Katja xxx
http://www.katnapped.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much Katja, I completely agree with you, it’s just so nice to read that so many women here feel the same, it gives me hope x
LikeLike
People put too much weight into other’s opinions of what is beautiful or not. It doesn’t matter what others think beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a brilliant way to look at things
LikeLike
It’s very sad that we do tend to judge people by how they look on the outside rather than decide what type of person they are first. This is one area I have been working on very hard in my life right now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s truly sad. It’s definitely something to work on and spread awareness to others in every way we can
LikeLike
Judgment is seriously always there. The way people see the world is always going to be different.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Diversity is what we need but empathy and open mindedness is what we need more of x
LikeLike
The friends episode made it seem like Bonnie was crazy when she shaved her head but I think she looked fine. I think Ross is just too much of a square to handle Bonnie and worried about people judging him or something. Sinead O’Connor shaves her head. You’re right, hair is not everything but confidence is very important.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There’s assumptions attached everywhere when it comes to a woman being bald. It’s really sad the amount of people who will stare at me when I pop out. Sadly that chips away at my confidence and sends me backwards a few paces but I’ll get there.
Thanks for reading!
LikeLike
I could say so many of the cliches that apply here, but instead I will just say this: live your life the way you see fit and don’t worry about what others think. It isn’t worth the stress.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wise words, thank you xx
LikeLike
I don’t think hair is everything either. I mean, beauty comes from your personality in my opinion. Someone can be gorgeous, but have an awful personality and not be beautiful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my goodness you are beautiful inside and out! Alopecia runs in our family so I’ve seen the struggle first hand. Thanks for sharing!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for commenting and for your kind words. X
LikeLike
Im shocked that is what his fans are so concerned over. Being bald does not make a person any less beautiful/handsome.
LikeLiked by 1 person